M1A2 Abrams Airsoft RC Tank

This realistic, scale replica of the Army’s and Marine Corps’ primary tank emits smoke and realistic sound effects and recoils when the 320-degree rotating turret blasts BBs upwards of 25 meters. The toy is no joke, so none is needed to convince you that you want it, but yeah, the neighbor kids will learn to drive their RC cars in reverse right quick when they see dad coming. Buy Now $250

Pocket Shot

Behold, the Pocket Shot: the circular, modern upgrade to the toy your mom dedicated her life to prevent you from obtaining. Dennis the Menace has nothing on this thing, whose accuracy is exceeded only by the terror it inflicts on tin cans and squirrels — the toy fires projectiles up to 350 feet per second. Did they mention it also shoots arrows? Yes, yes they did. Who wants to play William Tell? Buy Now $25

Funko Seinfeld Vinyl Idolz Figures

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Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition

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Razor Crazy Cart XL

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DJI Phantom 3 Quadcopter

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Axis Drones AERIUS, The World’s Smallest Quadcopter

Buy Now $30